cheese

Does it seem like forever since I've blogged? It has to me :)  Glad though, because that means nothing exciting has been happening. Oh, besides petting a baby miniature horse and holding baby bunnies tonight. That was awesome and the girls were in heaven. Thank you Brady and Amanda, loved being with you and Austin tonight. Ruby doesn't know Amanda, but you would have thought they were BFFs. I was even able to get Ruby's last gross steri strips off her port incision while she was showing it to Amanda. Tears...over me taking off an old nasty band aid. Glad its finally off though. Mental blocks with a 3 year old are hard.

super cheezer double chin pic holding the tiniest baby bunny!

 Nothing like a good bike ride in jammies on a warm spring day.

Cheese. She loves stealing the cheese!

Warm enough, but not really, last week to turn on the sprinklers

short cut through the park to see Siri at recess. 

Lucky to spend time on a belated birthday date with this lady. Debby Lives in my neighborhood/ward and I've made myself her adopted 9th child. p.s. go visit the Penzey spice store and Indian restaurant next to it in Draper.

And Friday we went on a "field trip" to the hospital. I had talked to a child life specialist about goals beforehand-to help Ruby feel more comfortable and to let Siri and Jane feel more involved and understand what Ruby does when she goes there. She'll work more individually with Ruby when we go this week. Rachelle was amazing and the girls had a great time!

I was at a church activity for a few hours Saturday morning. Mark was with the girls and cheered Jane on at her game. Ruby was going commando all day, but maybe that's a benefit of mom being away ;)

Jane was watching hockey and hanging out with Mark while Ruby napped and Siri went to hike on rocks with Sam and Uncle Dan 

I love her in these jams.

I ran into a friend from high school at Great Harvest this week. As I saw her, it was so easy to go up and give her a hug, get right into life. She's been reading my blog, but we don't ever see each other. I am grateful for this experience, Ruby's life and in turn our life, for bringing people closer to us. I love that we can skip shooting the breeze and talk about how life really is, for us and for the people we talk to. I love the honesty and the emotion. I do not love being a focal point, but I do love what it entails-visits from friends I don't see as often, comfortable crying in front of people, sharing that emotion, being more aware of others situations.  Last Sunday after I had posted, I questioned if I should keep updating so often. Who do I think I am that people want to hear what's going on? But she helped me feel like yes, its worth it.

And I need to share. This guy. Mark. My husband. Started dating him when we were 16. We knew each other for a year or two before, but I didn't like him like him, but some of my friends did. Then I slowly got jealous of my friends because I was the one brave enough to call him, because I didn't like him like him, but they were spending more time and talking to him when we got together. Well, once we started dating I kind of flipped a switch and never went back. He's had my full complete heart since I was a teenager. A teenager!  Still does. Anyway, what I really meant to say was how thankful I am for Mark. I've been wanting to be able to see Siri and Jane in the same precious view I see Ruby. This past week Mark made comments like "Isn't Siri amazing at the monkey bars? She is so strong!" and "I love watching Jane play soccer, she just goes all out". His comments here and there have helped me focus on each of our kids and value who they are, right now. To enjoy them, be proud, take time to see them. I'm so ready to take Siri out of school so I can be with her more! Looking forward to Summer time.  I've also talked about "the greatest blessing" referring to Ruby going into 100% remission, or "worst case scenario" as Ruby passing away. And he's asked "Is that really the greatest blessing?" or "Is that really the worst case?"  Geez Mark, I never thought of that. And that's the thing, he helps me see beyond today and my bubble.  That there could be more if we'll keep our minds and hearts open and trust in God (or whatever higher power you believe in).  Mark I love you.

Next visit is Tuesday for dose #2. This will be our first regular appointment as far as just a visit to see Dr Holly and get an infusion of Nivolumab (no surgery, scans, etc). Not sure yet, but I think she won't do another scan to check the tumors until 2 cycles are over (which would be another 6 weeks from Tuesday).