happy as a lark

Miss Siri has been so excited to get her tonsils out. Seems a little crazy to me, but she's been waiting about a month or more and the day finally came! Around the end of October I went into her room at night and noticed that she quit breathing for a few seconds. I went in a few nights after and it almost always would happen. Sleep apnea.  Her head is always craned back and she often would breathe through her mouth. She's very grumpy in the afternoon and easily falls asleep. I am hoping having her tonsils out will help her get into a deeper sleep and feel more rested.

Despite having to get up at 6am yesterday, she was singing on the way to the hospital. Mark took her since I have been feeling bleh (cold, sore throat) the last couple days. I freaking love that guy. I think he was more nervous than Siri was.  Primary Childrens Hospital was so good with her. She happily came home with a doll, blanket, and new sippy. I hope we don't have to spend much time (ideally none) there when babygirl arrives, but its made me feel well taken care of that we'll be there when she's born.

We've watched a few movies, but she went to cousin Leah's soccer game today and has been dancing around (with popsicle in hand). She has to take amoxicillin and hydrocodone. The only times she has cried is when she has to take her 'yucky' (hydrocodone) medicine. She had a breakthrough today and on her own, without complaint, took her last dose for the day. She now calls it the 'strawberry' or 'cherry' medicine. She was proud of herself when I told her how proud I was of her. "I'm happy mom, just like Poky Little Puppy. Happy as a lark". I hear days 4-7ish get worse, so we'll keep our fingers crossed that the ice cream, popsicles, and go-gurts keep her happy.

The other hardest part has been for Jane. She wants to eat everything Siri has. She definitely gets to have a share in the treats, but not as much as her big sis. Jane has really been into building blocks, books, and doing puzzles lately. I had wondered if she was just a crazy goof. Glad she's proven me wrong :)  She is very good at ignoring me when I say 'no', and is also talented at sneaking to anyone's diaper bag to scavenge for gum or  'nacks'.  As soon as Siri is recovered we're going to move Jane into Siri's room and pray they get along, aka sleep.  Because next...

We have renters moving into our basement in a few weeks, so the pressure is on to get it done!  And a few weeks after that (still praying she stays safe and healthy until then) babygirl will come. I'm not excited it has to be via c-section but so glad medicine and technology can try to get her here more easily.  When I was pregnant with Jane I thought a lot about life with two kids. I feel like I've been so wrapped up with the house and the girls, and just the immediate state of how baby is doing that I haven't thought too far ahead (minus bracing myself for less sleep).  Even if I am having a hard time adjusting to three, I'll count my blessings if I can have babygirl at home with me. And with Spring on the horizon (yes, I'm looking that far ahead. this weather...I can't say enough about how I hate it) things will be good.  This lil' baby is getting to be quite famous. She was talked about at a conference this week and has had a few handfuls of the very best doctors in Utah take a look at her in the MRI images.

Now I need to go look at the calender to plan a trip up the canyon to get some vitamin D and clear skies...

It's ok that it's not ok

It is few and far between, but today was one of those days I had a good worry-filled cry about babygirl.

I had an MRI last week and it went well actually. We had a huge relief when they told us it didn't have any spine or brain tissue in the mass. Innocence is bliss, it's been great not knowing what it is because then I feel like she's still ok.  But, the more info I find out, the more I realize that I need to face it that she might not be 'ok'.

I told that to Mark and he said "and it will be ok if she's not ok".  Thank Heavenly Father for a such a patient, calm, and faithful husband. Because really, we will be ok, no matter what because that is what we are choosing to do. I just need extra reminders.

It could be a benign teratoma, or it could be a hemangioma, or it could grow big enough that she'll have to be delivered early and may require plastic surgery and skin grafts (I'll be so thankful if its just something cosmetic and doesn't affect her health). As of now its about 7x7x3cm and is pressing on her skull. It has blood vessels in it but isn't straining her heart so far. But we just won't really know how to help her until she's born.

At dinner Siri said the prayer. I think she's heard us talk enough about our niece Naomi who was stillborn, and problems with this baby, that in her prayer she said "and bless that the new baby can come and be in our family". She's understanding more as she gets older and I go to the doctor more. Before dinner she had seen me crying and asked "is the baby not going to come to our family?" Oh my tender-about-to-break-my-heart...she is so sweet. She gave me lots of hugs tonight and kissed my belly. Jane even clued in and brought me a giant blanket off the couch "bane-kett?".

christmas morning

skiing at Alta

MRI-don't be jealous of the wardrobe

I know so many people who have gone through or are going through much worse. And for them I have gratitude for their examples. If you can do it, I know I can do it.
I'm so thankful for how much this experience already has made me appreciate my health and the 2 healthy girls I have and the miracles their bodies are.