just regular fun

By Saturday night Mark and I just looked at each other wearily and agreed, we were spent. This week had some amazing things. But too many fun things, too close together, with Ruby not sleeping through the night, started to make things more tiring and less fun. Its been a couple weeks that she's been getting up 3, 4, 5, 6 times.  I felt so run down yesterday. I had been dwelling too much on losing Ruby this week, missing her while she's still here. I got over that useless mindset. I realize it may come back. Between the worry of cancer, and the perks of cancer, and all the rest of life right now, I was just tired.  Doing normal fun-sprinklers, chalk, popsicles-the regular summer stuff sounds great.

I do want to share a few things that we got to do and loved though.
-Mark and I went to the temple and dinner. Its calming for me. I feel at ease when I'm there. Not scared and anxious and worried.
- Getting a new car. Its taken some getting used to the new/niceness of it. I have just been used to, and comfortable, in a beater car really! Having a/c that's cold within seconds, playing music from my phone, going more than 55 up Parleys...its enjoyable :)
-Saturday a friend had spare tickets to Cavalia. That show you probably haven't been to but have seen 9 jillion billboards for. It was amazing!  I had Ruby on my lap and she kept saying "that's so dangerous".
-Taking Siri on a special date. Time alone with her is rare and valuable.
-Millie's Princess Foundation run. They put on an incredible event!  Pretty sure every Disney princess was there.

Ruby and Jane have had colds for over a week. Ruby's nose has been so stuffy, it makes it hard for her to suck her thumb (which I am trying to hard to get her to stop!) But, she uses it as comfort so I'm sure that has made sleeping harder. And she's 3, and I wonder sometimes how she feels. Would I be able to tell if I had so many tumors in my lungs?  I tried giving her a small dose of melatonin for the first time last night. She slept through the night, which means Mark and I slept too. Today was a better day.  It was a sunny beautiful sabbath day. I woke up feeling refreshed and got Father's day breakfast cooking. Sausage, has browns, english muffin egg sandwiches, juice, and fruit. Delish. Loved seeing Siri and Jane give their gifts to Mark that they had made.

Some of you have asked 'what now?' for Ruby. The plan is to enjoy our trips coming up. We will then likely try the oral drug when we get back. We will keep our spark of hope that this disease will miraculously leave her body. We will enjoy the moment, the day, that we have with each other.  That's the plan.