Sunday afternoon right now. Mark is roasting a turkey and making gravy. Ruby's napping, girls are playing Legos. First time a turkey has ever been cooked in our almost-11 years of marriage. It smells gooood. Siri said "It smells like Grandma Carol's in here".
I've had a couple sad days or moments (between awesome happy days...oohhhh the roller coaster). Nothing huge, just general feelings of sad. One day I was missing my mom. I recognize that I'm blessed to have a mom who is around and loves and supports me and my family. She works full time in Draper and lives in Kamas, and sometimes I wish we lived closer to each other, or that she didn't work full time, or that she could just leave work and come be with us. She knew I was feeling this way and came by to see me and the girls on her way home from a work. A big long hug from your mom can go a long way.
Mark and I went to the temple yesterday with his parents. So glad his mom took the initiative to plan this so that we would get a babysitter (thanks Liz o) and go together. P.S. the Ridge market at cafe at Suncrest is delicious. It was great, and yesterday was a fun day, but by the end I was just really not wanting to try to be optimistic and faithful and happy. Because you can't just be that way. It takes effort. I think most all good things do. I just wanted to be sad. Its easy to be sad. I don't like it though, yikes, get me out of there. After even a few hours I feel like a big bloby dud.
It stemmed from thinking about 'What if's' for Ruby. What if there aren't any meds that can help her? What if we end up using donated funds for her funeral? This is terribly sad but its real. I thought, I could talk at her funeral, I could face that. But then I thought about her pink water bottle she uses everyday. I couldn't put that away. I couldn't not get out 3 ikea plates for every meal. I couldn't only have 2 kids in the car. I couldn't see her sisters memory of her fade as they got older. As I pitied myself for what could be, I thought of a few people, including my friend Sedra I think I've mentioned. She passed away a couple months ago, leaving 2 young boys and her husband. It helped put things into perspective for me. Oh, and an instagram account I follow called fighting_cancer_warriors. I can do this, of course I can. And I'm glad this is my thing. Ruby is perfect, think of all the hard and evil she wouldn't have to face in this world. She isn't a mom who has dependent kids, or a spouse who would have a broken heart. She's a bubbly spicy 3 year old that is loving life and is blissful as long as there are comfy pants and noodles in the day's plans.
I also though about new sprinkler systems, sod, and a fence for our yard, ripping out bushes, among other things at 3am :)
This week is going to be good, warm weather is in the forecast! And I feel better now, just writing for a while. Life is good. Things are good. Let's choose to look through the windows instead of into mirrors.
Siri has asked about Harry Potter multiple times. Kids talk about it at school and she has no idea. So, got book 1 from the library. She loves it. (I told her she can't see the movies until she reads the book because it will ruin her imagination).
A friend gave us a pack of mustaches. We all wore them to Siri's soccer game. I LOVE SIRI! She'll be all shy and scared and emotionally unreasonable and then do things like wear a pink mustache for soccer pictures, or get up and bear her testimony in church for the first time today.
typical kid plate here. Delicious breakfast, with a side of legos, and no kid in sight.
great day to watch cousin Will play water polo on Friday
Mark's homemade pizza on the grill. Comfort food!
Ruby and Sam
Friend's baptism yesterday
Mark and I played indoor yesterday. The girls endured it while we had fun.
And a few gems from the past...
Mark and I playing a flute duet when we were newly weds
water polo high school days
Mark and his rollerboys skillzzz
enjoy
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