all the hearts

Its warm and windy as I look out the window to our backyard. I'm thinking I should get us out for a walk before rain comes later today.  I saw the tips of tulips coming up from some gravel in my neighbors yard yesterday and it made me happy to see another sign of spring! We haven't skiied as much as I thought we would this season, but we'll get in a few more days I hope before its over.

Siri and I had a great, grand, wonderful trip to California! We flew into San Jose where Jenn picked us up and took us to Point Lobos, Carmel, and Monterey. We sifted through shells, put our feet in the freezing cold water, and enjoyed a beautiful day. Siri loved played with her cousins, Max (8) and Kate (11). It was good for us to get away together and reminded me the importance of one on one time with my girls. We visited Half Moon Bay, went shopping together, ate yummy food, the kids swam, and we got to venture into San Francisco. I'm so thankful for Jenn & Dave and their hospitality. Jenn knows how to plan and tour guide like a boss.

I'm thankful Ruby was feeling good and I didn't worry about leaving. Surgery on Friday the15th went as planned which is such a relief. The day before surgery her oncologist called and said a radiologist was putting the brakes on and hesitating to agree going forward because the tumors were small, and I think he didn't fully understand her history and how long they had been there. Pathology reports are back and they did not have any melanoma cells which is good! The miracle drug is working :) Ruby was pretty nervous and sad the morning of. She had also had issues with opening her eyes-like things were too bright or her eyes hurt. She had some body aches/stiffness and I felt like it could be withdrawals from the Entrectnib. She stopped it 2 days before surgery and won't start it again until next week after she has another follow up CT scan. Post surgery it took her a little bit to calm down. The nurses kept wrapping her in warm blankets which helped. Once she realized she couldn't take the chest tube out and got her to her own room she relaxed. She was on pain meds until Saturday morning but otherwise just took tylenol/ibuprofen for a few days after that.

My mom brought Siri and Jane to visit Friday night while Annie stayed with Auntie Liz. The girls didn't want to leave, Ruby didn't want them to leave, but we all needed some rest. Mark stayed with Ruby and I took the girls home. Mark said they slept/rested in 1-2 hour increments so he was pretty tired the next day. I love his love for our girls. I got back to the hospital Saturday morn just as they had finished taking out the chest tube. Her eyes were filled with tears, her face splotchy from crying and being in pain. I was so sad I wasn't there to hold her hands and be with her, but I think it's ok I didn't see it but could be there to comfort her right after. I have a lot of love and respect for moms who see their kids go through hell and back with medical problems. Again, thankful Ruby has had a fairly smooth journey without being inpatient very often or serious side effects. A while after she was all disconnected from everything she got up, I did her hair, she changed her clothes, and we went for a little walk down the hall. By 3pm we were home.

As of today (Feb 27th), her 3 incisions are well on their way to healing and she's back to normal!  We are excited to celebrate her 6th birthday in a few days! 

I'm still trying to figure out my thyroid/hormone issues and feel like its been a domino effect of many things inside me not feeling right and now I'm trying to figure out where to start to get it all back in order. I don't love the endocrinologist I'm seeing so I'm going to try to find someone else to give me another opinion. And really, the library is a fountain of free help. I love learning about it but lack as much time as I'd like to learn more but keep trying. It's hard because I'm aware and know of how cleaning up my diet and lifestyle in certain ways (for example less sugar, possibly gluten too, and less stress) would be so beneficial but I feel like doing nothing except maybe eating alllll the chocolate and carbs every few days. Fortunately having a home, a family, homeschooling, and my desire to do and be more don't let me give in. I'm all ears if you have a favorite practitioner (endocrinologist, functional medicine, etc) you'd suggest for me to look into.

I started this post in the morning and am now finishing it at 10pm. Reading my above post after I'd written it was eye opening in that this is just the tip of the iceberg of my life. There are friends we're praying for with lots of different challenges going on, moments of joy that I'm just to tired to write about right now, the part about how Hammy is stinking up the kitchen and I may have to ask Siri to give him away, Mark's work, my thoughts on God and my gospel study...but its not meant to all be written down. There is too much to enjoy, to work on, to experience, sometimes wanting to forget, too embarrassing to share over the interwebs of the world, or too important that you don't want to share with just anyone. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you have a lovely night.
Ali

happy girl being able to be on her bike these past few warm and windy days

Siri was nervous but got out paddling with her cousin Kate

this made me laugh

pebble beach

fun with family

chest tube 

(and she had 2 other incisions-the camera and the surgical tool)

besides a chest tube, seeing her sedated is the next hardest for me, 

to see her limp and unresponsive.

valentines

sewing lesson for Siri

homeschool valentine party was so fun!

daddy daughter date

kiwi crate fun

I'm thankful for neighbors who watch the other girls 

and do fun things while Ruby and I are at dr appts