Now that I've eaten my emotions, I'll write about them :) I have time to type because Annie is asleep, S & J are at school and Aunt Kerrah took Ruby to dance class for me (thank you).
I've been worried about Annie and feeling worn down with the newborn phase. Keeping small humans alive is hard! I went back through my "mom journals" as I call them last night to see what Ruby was like. Very similar weight and development patterns (not smiling much yet, one eye kept going crossed :) When she was Annie's age at this time, the mass on Ruby's neck had just healed over and we got to stop wrapping her head. Annie is better sleeper at night though, she has never had me up more than once in the night since she came home from the hospital. No wonder 3 kids was so hard for me...I wrote that Ruby was up 2-3x at night, although I know Mark would get up too since Ruby was on bottles. 2 nights ago Annie slept from 11pm-7:30 am! She didn't do it last night, but now we know its possible.
Blanket was given to me by Grandmother Thackeray (Mark's grandma) when Ruby was born.
Annie 2 months
Ruby 2 months
May 2013
May 13, 2013 (Ruby was 10 weeks old, Jane 2, Siri 4)
"Ruby barfed and had a big poop all in 3 seconds. She's got lots of baby acne. Lately she's eaten about 9pm, sleeps about 10pm-3am, eats, then sleeps til about 7am. Her left eye still goes cross-eyed. Her neck is getting strong and she's starting to flex and stand on her legs"
"Amy walked Jane home after finding her outside on her bike in just her underwear"
"Siri got an invitation to a birthday party. It isn't for 2 more weeks but she's already stressing about what princess attire to wear (the theme of the party)"
If you don't write in a journal, start. I'm so thankful to have my written memories to go back to, especially as a mom. Crazy how fast my mind forgets things!
I just wrote of things that have gone wrong with the house lately or things that bug me...and then I deleted them. This morning as I was feeling down the song 'count your many blessings' came into my head. Yeah, I have things that have gone wrong or bug me, but they're pretty first world problems. I love when my friend Kelli and I sincerely vent to each other and end the conversation with a sigh "oh my first world problems". Puts things into perspective and makes me more thankful.
This morning I was feeling jealous of Mark, that he gets to go out. Work, socialize, be out and about. What about me? I want to go to the gym, just an hour or two by myself please?! And I thought "How did our moms do it?" Mark is the youngest of 7 kids, me youngest of 5. Mark's dad was gone working most the time, so his mom was solo. My dad wasn't in the picture so my mom was working full time (still does) and I know I depended on my siblings a lot. I think that's partly why Liz and I are so close. Were our moms better moms? Did they struggle as much as I am? I know I'm not the only young mom asking and thinking the same things.
But there was no Instagram. Did they have less to compare themselves to then? The home phone and seeing people in person was it. You ran down the street and rang their doorbell. There was no knowing of who was doing what, unless you actually talked to them or saw them. If that was how things were for me now? I wonder what my thoughts would be like. I'd be associating mostly with other moms, doing what I'm doing. Not seeing what everyone else is out doing, and me wishing I was there. I don't want to wish I was there. This season of my life isn't the same as theirs, and from what I hear, its going to be gone before I know it. I hope I'll be more engaged with the girls when they get home today. I hope I'll remember that I can do more as a Christlike parent, than I could any other job in this world. I want to bypass the good so I can have the better and best parts of life. I'm so thankful my girls love to be home with each other. That I have a husband who loves to be home, to be with us. Who loves to cook and play and work and always be improving himself.
Ok, I can move on with a smile on my face. Life is good.
Jane lost her front tooth at school yesterday!
2 comments:
She lost it, yay!
You're an amazing woman, mom, sister, friend...you know this, but I know it's hard sometimes when you're feeling cooped up and blue (especially in the winter!).
It's the season and phase of your life right now. And I swear siri and jane were just 1 and 3 yrs old...time goes fast!
Read my last blog post and you'll see that there are probably many who are feeling what you are feeling. http://thacks.blogspot.com/?m=0&zx=95ba37597f2328c2 Don't stop blogging because we want to hear about ruby and Annie and everyone else, but take comfort in knowing that it'll get better. I liked Angela's comment on my blog post. ❤️You!
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