We then put the girls to bed and Mark and I were talking in the kitchen. I'm excited for this baby. SO excited to meet her, what she will add and bring to our family. At the same time, I go day by day thinking "this could be Ruby's last...". I'm thankful that Ruby doesn't understand fully or worry about the cancer in her lungs. [Dejavu, like, right now as I'm typing this.]
I'm thankful that she can play, be free and (relatively) healthy right now. We are going to get her port flushed (just like a cleaning to make sure its not clogged etc) on Wednesday. It will be quick and we'll be on our way. She seems to continue to feel well, so for now we plan to do another scan beginning of January.
Ruby and sisters love to talk to my belly. Tell baby good bye as Siri leaves for school, or good night when they go to bed. It helps me not dwell on the "this could be Ruby's last..." moments. I think about it, but I don't dwell very often. I appreciate the perspective it reminds me of, although my mind easily forgets and needs reminding. And when I think about how hard this next month will be with a c-section, recovery, newborn, everyday life, possible baby blues, and the scanxiety for Ruby (and the tinge of stress of the holidays). I know we can do it. I can do it. I can ask for help. And I'm pretty sure life isn't going to be a bowl full of cherries going forward. Sometimes I think about just getting through this, whatever "this" hard thing at the moment is. But we're in our mid 30s and have young kids...we've got plenty of time left for more trials :) Hopefully a hysterectomy won't be one of them. I have another ultrasound later next week to make sure I don't have placenta previa or it hasn't grown into my previous c section scar.
As of now baby girl is scheduled to come the first week of December. I have been trying to take it a little easier, but have felt good enough to still go to the gym, Costco, and walk the girls home from school. Prepping my mind though in case I need to be on bedrest. I'm not due until December 27, so the first of December is still pretty early for her to make her grand debut.
I felt well enough to go to St.George the last two weekends. Once with our family since Mark had an engagement photo shoot to do at Snow Canyon, and once with my sister and Mom for our annual girls trip! I'm ready to stay home to cook this baby and get clothes out of storage. And eat pie. I love pie. But, the effort most definitely continues to eat better, especially Ruby. Thank you for NOT offering her treats. She and her sisters understand why, but its still hard to try to show my (our) love for them in other ways. After trick or treating and picking out what they wanted to keep... Siri sold us her candy and I put the money in savings per her request...she wants to get a car when she's 16. Jane and Ruby wanted to trade theirs for toys. Done.
tag while we take a pit stop on the way to St G
playing in the backyard
she said she wanted to be a mermaid, so I spoiled her with a new costume and wig.
but really she ended up wanting to be a lion with an old costume that gave her a slight wedgie. whatever floats your boat Ruby, you got it.
Happiest Birthday to my mom. One more year until she will hopefully retire!
And this. Ruby LOVED her first dance class last week. A woman named Kim invites kids with cancer (and their families) to come to class for free. Right now I'm planning to take Ruby once a week, but may take Siri and Jane in the new year if they want to and depending on how things are going and we're feeling.
shopping in St G including a lil christmas outfit for baby!
while I was gone Mark and the girls walked over to the nearby chinese restaurant for dinner
got to meet up with sis in law Kerrah and a couple Fetzer cousins for a visit
ha!
fun times with the lovely Alexis
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