This story just gets better...

There are a lot of good gifts out there, but right now, we have one of the most best gifts of all.

Chances are if you haven't seen me or if we haven't electronically communicated lately, you wouldn't know...Baby Thack #4 will be joining our family in December!

If you have seen me, and didn't know, now you don't have to feel bad that you were thinking I was looking chubby. I'm 16 weeks, so still in the inbetween regular and maternity clothes kind of phase. Not my favorite clothes wise, but its great because I have been feeling less nauseated and tired, but still small enough belly to ride theme park rides and not feel like the heat of summer is evil.

I'm due December 27th, but will likely deliver the first week of December. I really hope my body can keep this baby in until 37 weeks. Why? Because its dangerous if I go into labor. With Ruby, they had do do both a horizontal, and vertical incision on my uterus. A regular c-section is a single horizontal incision, and if you have another baby after and go into labor, chances of your uterus rupturing are 1% or less. With a vertical incision, its 10%, so you really need to be careful and not go into labor.  And with Siri and Jane I went into labor a couple week early. Ruby was 36 week but still weighed over 6lbs, Jane 2 weeks early and 8lb. I cook them quick...or unknowingly have gestational diabetes.  And that's another thing. I really feel it will be a miracle if this baby is completely healthy with no complications. There are so many things that can go wrong. I still get a little scared each appointment that there won't be a heartbeat.

All my posts since the beginning of May (when I found out I was pregnant) could be revised as its changed our lives. But, I didn't want the interwebs to know yet, its way more fun telling people in person. I felt so sick all of May. Its crazy that I wouldn't tell people, but at the same time, there is nothing anyone could do to make me feel better. You just have to go through it. I admire women who are comfortable telling people right off the bat, and also admire those who can contain the excitement, sickness, and baby bump until later.

So now the story.
 I've never had a strong feeling if we'd have more kids or not, but I have thought of the future, when I'm old, and pictured having more than 3. After Ruby's clear scans last July, I felt better about considering having another human being. Prayed, pondered, went to the temple, fasted. Nothing. No feeling being swayed either way. More of a "you decide this yourself" kind of feeling. I felt good enough about it and we had been trying since August to get pregnant. Its never taken more than 2-3 months for us. After a few months I was confused, sad. Why isn't this happening? Then I started taking ovulation tests and really trying. Still not pregnant. I threw that stuff away and left it up to Heavenly Father. I felt an impression to just focus on what I have right now. A couple months later we found out Ruby had cancer. It was a stressful time. But how glad was to not have a newborn at that time. Mark and I didn't exactly feel like snuggling much :)   (Sorry if this is too much info for you, but its part of the story!!). A couple weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

I didn't feel elated or sad or anything, more just thinking really? really?  After a week I couldn't keep in my excitement, and I told Mark. Then I was really excited. I very much know it is God's timing. I feel like this baby is such a gift to our family at this time. It has helped me not feel paralyzed by cancer. It is helping me feel joy, a deeper and better understanding of the importance of families, relationships and my role as a mother on this earth. I am anticipating and as excited for this baby as I was our first. We waited to tell anyone until we had our first appt, I really wanted to see a heartbeat. It was the day after we found out Ruby's immunotherapy didn't work. Those were some very emotional days, both up and down.

We will find out next month if its a boy or girl. Sounds crazy, but I'd love to have another girl. But, it would be new and exciting to have a boy. The girls all originally said they wanted a brother, but now they're all leaning towards a girl since Siri is saying boys stink, are loud, and take their shirts off all the time. I told her she and her sisters aren't much different! :)