dates and another d day

Dates, like numbers on the calendar, although I also like dates the food.  I have dates imprinted on my mind. Some of them...

September 24th-I get to take Siri to the Women's General Conference meeting for our church.
September 25th-Primary Program! Best Sunday of the year.
September 28th-ob appt for me and the dreaded glucose test.
Going with Mark on a business trip back east! I've never been and it will be good to get away without kids
October 8th-Siri is getting baptized
October 11th-Ruby's next CT scan and dr appt

All of the things until October 11th are ones we can plan on, know generally what's going to happen, continue on. Having a scan for cancer kinds puts things on hold. All the dates after October 11th, I have planned, but with a 'unless something with Ruby changes' kind of clause on it.

I felt really good, lots of energy, until Monday afternoon. Then for whatever reason, I felt like I got zapped. No energy, lethargic, stomach hurting, uncomfortable, not sleeping well.  I think I may be describing how most pregnant women feel. For me I usually don't feel like this until the last month. I worry about the baby and _(fill in the blank with 800 things)_. I have rested a lot, but still feel uncomfortable, can't fall asleep if I try to nap during the day. I had Mark give me a blessing this afternoon. It helped me feel more peaceful, less worried.

Pics from the cabin last weekend...

an angel

Tonight I took Ruby to go take pics with other darling girls (with cancer) to model Persnickity clothing.  It was great to be outside and see her so pretty. I loved being around other moms that have a child with cancer in common, I wish I could have chatted longer with them.

Its late, and I'm tired, and have been trying to do too much today. So I get that I'm stressed and need to sleep.  But the past hour I've been going through pictures since Ruby's birth and making a folder on the ipad to show the genetic pediatrician we're meeting with tomorrow.  As I go from birth, to the picture of her tonight. I stopped at this picture, and sincerely felt like I had an angel for a daughter.

Then I cried, mmm sobbed more like it, tears of sadness knowing that cancer could take her life here on earth.

Squeeze your loved ones tight. Say no to more outside stuff and yes to painting your kids nails or reading them a book (this advice is really for me). Take time for long hugs and a back tickle.  Thank God that you got to be together another day.

8 is totally awesome!

Happy Birthday my dear!

I LOVED staying up late looking through old photos of her. I'm proud and thankful to be her mama.

I want to be like them

My sister in laws dad, my aunt, my step mom, a woman I met on Facebook. I want to be like these people in regard to their belief, knowledge, and testimony of what happens after this life. To have a smile on your face as you are greeting people who are there to give condolences for the loss of your loved one...its beyond what I can understand right now. When I think about being in their shoes, for whomever I were to lose in my life, its hard to imagine having so much faith and belief that you have no doubt that you will see them again, that it is not the end and things will be ok.

This mom I met via the cancer moms facebook page...her posts about her son were uplifting. Each post updated on on his worsening condition, but I never felt like she was being broken by this trial. Although I had never met her in person, I went to her son's viewing. It wasn't like any viewing I'd been to before. It was in the church gym, a table with pictures and possessions of his. An open casket surrounded by flowers. But there was mellow music, socializing, food, and happiness. A luau. His mom stood to greet us and I felt like she was comforting all of us instead of the other way around.  I'm so glad I went. I love being around people like her and her family.

I took the girls swimming one last time that Saturday over Labor Day weekend. It was breezy and chilly but I was glad we got there one more time.

The girls and I were invited by Millie's Princess Foundation to go to a Salt Lake Monarchs soccer game at the Real Rio Tinto stadium. It was awesome!  I love soccer and don't care about who's who. We had close seats. At half time the kids got to high five the players, sit in their seats on the field with the Real Coach, and Ruby got a special scarf. The weather was perfect and it was a fun night with my ladies.

As I was home with the girls that first weekend in September, Mark was in Alaska enjoying the long awaited day of his friend Blake getting married. I'm so glad he got to be there with them.  Mark has been working on rebuilding his mini half pipe skate ramp. Its his thing and I love that he loves it.

We got to go to Snowbird and do some of the activities thanks to passes from someone Mark works with up there. The rides are so expensive we've never been willing to pay for them. Labor Day was the last day to use them so we headed up. After a couple hours it was so crazy crowded (Oktoberfest going on) that we left. Fun things are fun, but not if the kids (and me) are hungry and tired of waiting in line! Then, you evaluate and realize that often times its best to go home. This was one of those times.

Ruby had her port flushed last week (needs to be done every 30 days if its not being used). Proud and thankful its not traumatic for her. She winced when they accessed it, but then they just flushed it and deaccessed it so she didn't have to go through the worst part of taking the sticky tape off.

We went to the Make a Wish building for a low key (just our family) star raising. After your child has their wish granted, you get to go have them raise a star that hangs from the ceiling in the building. Anyone can go in and look. Stop by if you have time, I love reading all the different stories.

And can I mention again how lovely the weather has been? Keeping the windows open morning and night is a sign of perfect weather. Picking lots of fresh fruit from our neighbors!

We had cousin Sam sleepover, Ruby and I went to a walk to raise money for melanoma research followed by a stop at Urban Farm and Feed. Get a jar of pickles and the fresh peach pie. Just do it. We took winter clothes to donate, bid on a few auction items, and ate yummy food at the Run4Refugees event in Draper a couple nights ago. I took Siri to use her free Baskin Robbins birthday ice cream and get scriptures and a bag for them. We finally sold our van! Our basement renter is moving out in October, so sad to see her go (shes getting married)! If you know anyone looking for a place let me know :) Cleaned the garage yesterday and had a relaxing day with my mom and John today.  I'm 24 weeks and feel really good most  the time. I'm in the window of having energy and motivation to clean, organize and exercise. At the same time I'm so tired by the evening, and want to eat everything.

Ruby getting her nails done by Grandma

Celebrating Siri's birthday this week! And amongst all the fun, I hope to have more patience this week (i.e. helping Siri practice piano and clean her room), eat better (as in, not stuff myself so full I feel sick), and enjoy each day that we're alive and happy and healthy and together.

September: crisp apples, turning leaves, and Childhood Cancer Awareness month