2 years ago

I blogged this morning. And when I did, I didn't remember that it was 2 years ago today, that we went for a check up scan and found more than expected. Cancer.

But another miracle...  How awesome that time can heal and there is so much life and light and good in my life today that I didn't even have time to dwell! 

Two years ago that she and I sat in room 8 and Ruby went from healthy and happy to cancer, but still happy, because she had just turned 3 and didn't understand. But the rest of us did. I didn't eat or sleep normally for a month.  She had a biopsy March 17 and we brought her home the night of the 18th, my birthday. The best gift to be home.  I remember going to spin class the morning of my birthday. Thankful Mark was with Ruby so I could have a break to exercise and shower. Liz was teaching and played a song, Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia. I bawled. Between crying and being on the spin bike it was even harder to breath. So much emotion. I thought I was losing my daughter each minute.

Little did I know.

Again, so thankful that I didn't know. But God does. That we have the chance to show our faith by living in hope and choosing to make the best of what we have. Its not easy but its worth it.

So grateful for these past 2 years. For all the love you have shown our family. I would never trade it. Thank you for being part of our lives. Each of your individual prayers, dinners, texts, donations, gifts,  help with the kids and more has kept us lifted and carried us through such a hard time.  We're still on the cancer train but learning to steady ourselves as we learn and grow.  Thank you! 

There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes
In a happy home, I was a king I had a golden throne
Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall
I hear the sounds from the places where I was born

Up on the hill across the blue lake
That's where I had my first heart break 
I still remember how it all changed 
My father said
Don't you worry, don't you worry child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now, yeah

March 2016

March 2018

Stay inside and snuggle

It was a nice and warm the last few days. This morning snow. That's what spring is like here :)  I went from wanting to go for a run (really more like a walk/jog these days) in the morning to wanting to stay home and do nothing today.  Not just the weather, but ya know, sometimes you just don't want to do all the things you could be doing.

Jane and I got to take our trip to California last weekend to visit my sister and her fam. I originally bought a ticket a few months ago (happy early birthday to me), but knew I couldn't pass up a chance to take one of the girls with me. But plane tickets aren't free!  Siri declined to use future birthday money and work for her ticket, although Jane was all about it. Our neighborhood/ward friends rallied to order focaccia (yummy italian bread Mark makes) and she earned much more than she needed to pay the difference of her ticket. She (aka she and Mark) still have about 5 more orders to fill.

Jane took money with her on our trip and spent it all on a brand new nice Jansport backpack. She had previously had a black one with a skateboarder on it (a gift a few years ago from her Grandma), and is excited to have a more girly one-white with pineapple print on it (believe me I tried to deter her from white).  Having Jane earn her way and be there with me was awesome. I'm so glad I didn't stick to my selfish ways and go by myself. And her cousins were happy to have her there.  The weather was perfect and we got to do all the things...see the Golden Gate Bridge, go for a hike, see Kate and Max do their sports/school/church stuff, eat yummy food, play outside, not change diapers or do laundry :)

cutest welcome home note!

fitzgerald tide pools

jane and max loved playing together!

kate (left) activity days choir concert

while we were there this happened to my finger...totally lost circulation and feeling for about 10-15 minutes. It was so bizarre! Going to see my dr this week. Could be Raynauds disease?!

cake decorating

venice beach

montara light house

labyrinth at Lands End

SG

We went to St George the first of March and had a great time! Enjoyed the change of scenery and  made it home safely after a big storm had hit Salt Lake.  Hiked in Snow Canyon-lava tubes and sand dunes, visited the St George temple and Family Search center, watched a few movies, went for walks and played outside.  Thankful for my fam and Mark's parents whose home there they let us use! 

Birthday Miracles!

First, want to thank my dear friend Alexis. She passed away from melanoma late summer last year. Before she died, she gave me a bracelet that says EXPECT MIRACLES.  Thank you Alexis for having more faith and hope than I did and for all that you were and are to us.
The other day Ruby was talking about her and said "I bet she can hear us". I think we ended up singing a song to her :)

And now to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUBY! It's so good we don't know the details of what lay ahead. Had we known when I was pregnant with Ruby that things would be up and down with her health but eventually we'd find a medication that would work, I wouldn't be who I am, think how and what I think, struggled how I've struggled, depended, relied, had faith like I've had the last 5 years.
And the next five years?  No one knows, so lets make goals and plans, but not worry and always be ok with plan B, or C.  Today we get to celebrate another day, another year we've had to be together.

Ruby got to take the snack to preschool on Wednesday, she chose corn nuts (so her fathers daughter). Her breakfast request is 'breakfast sandwiches'..."just with sausage and lettuce"
The one gift she has asked for is a globe...which she already opened this morning from Mark and I.
Ruby loves to play uno, matching game, swim, more swimming, ride her bike, be around people, play, more playing, paint rocks, put tiny things in tiny containers, and be with her sisters.

Love you Miss Ruby, to outer space and back!

Thank you Leanne, who volunteers 

through Icing Smiles, to bake for Ruby! 

Ruby requested "a bird and little nest" and she got it!