about me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Today I get to celebrate my life and I'm counting an overflow of blessings. I LOVE the phase of life my family is at. The girls, oh, the girls. So stinkin cute!  I love it!

Because this is the one day a year to be more centered on myself, here is more about me :)


I have no idea who most actor/actresses are, I rarely go see movies.

I can't stand booger goobers. My kids have to have clean nostrils.

I am afraid of the dentist.

It bugs me to feel crumbs under my feet. I wear socks a lot at our house :)
I love texture in my food. The more variety in a dish, the better. Salad bar? My fav. Chocolate chip cookies? I could pass up, but choc chip cookies with nuts and oats? yes.
Bed time and nap time are not to be toyed with. I mean business. It's best for everyone to try to go to nap/bed at the same time each day.
I feel like I need to wear sunglasses whenever I'm outside, even if its cloudy.
I'm often productive late and night, but prefer it when I can get myself out of bed for an early morning run or bike.
When I get back from the grocery store, a day at the pool, or a vacation, I like to unpack and get everything put away as soon as I get home.
I like vinegary things. Think mustard, saurkraut, pepperoncinis, balsamic. I love all kinds of popcorn and granola. I love fresh fruit and vegetables.
I love to read.
I love to watch documentaries.
I am self conscious of my smile. I think I killed the nerve to my front tooth when I fell skiing in college. It has progressively yellow since the nerve is dead. It will be thousands to fix someday, but until then I'm trying to be thankful that its still healthy.
I am constantly trying to be more patient with my kids. I love them dearly and I don't always act like it.
I love maps.
I sleep with a fan on.
I have kept a journal since I was 12.
I got glasses in kindergarten, contacts in 7th grade, and lasik eye surgery after I had Siri
The only time I've ever had to go to the hospital for myself is for birthing children.
I blush really, really, really easily.
I love being outside-going on walks, running, skiing, whatever. It makes me happy.

teeooo seeks

note: I have put in links to some of the names of things to help you, me, us, understand what is going on. Feel free to click on them.

UPDATE: Her pet scan came back clear, wahooooo!

Ask Ruby how old she is. She may say "teeoo" or she might say "seeks". And that's about all the numbers she knows, 2 and 6. She did turn 2 on March 1st though and we love birthdays around here. We did a few birthday things earlier in the week including dinner with friends and going to the dollar movie to see Big Hero 6. I was feeling less than awesome on her birthday so I was very grateful for Grandma Sandy. We went to their house for dinner and she had decorated with balloons, gifts, and cake. 

thanks Aunt Liz for getting her to pose!

I love vegetables. Kale chips and buffalo roasted cauliflower

And for my early birthday present...a trip to see Jenn! I was slightly nervous to travel alone, but turns out that it can be totally awesome. Lots of reading and just time to be by myself.

Ferry Building

view from Lands End

The clubhouse by the pool at Jenn's apt complex. Those flowers!

Sunny but chilly at the beach

This is happy

While I was with Jenn in California, Mark took Ruby to a dr appt.

I love Kate! She's so cool.

We watched a movie, played games, went to tide pools, swam, 

painted nails, and ate amazing cookies Jenn made

Jenn's stake women's conference. A.MAZING. I felt refreshed and inspired after going. It was motivating to be in a room with so many accomplished women. 

tiny pot of clam chowder. 

followed by THE BEST shrimp tacos I have EVER had at Calafia

As soon as I got home, Jane wanted to start a 'visit Kate and Max' fund

Sandy was washing her windows, Ruby wanted window kisses

And now back to Ruby. She seems to be the highlight of every post, although deservedly so since we spent lots of time on doctor visits, insurance, etc.  While I was in California I got a call from Dr.Holly Perlman (Oncology). She said they're still not sure what the diagnosis of the mass is: Atypical Melanocytic Proliferation vs Melanoma. They have gotten some feedback from other hospitals across the country but are waiting on a couple more. And we do not know of any cases in a patient as young as Ruby, so there is nothing to compare it to.

The big red flag so far is obviously how fast the mass grew, and that the genetic testing on the mass shows that it is missing both copies of CDKN2A, a tumor suppressing protein. We are not sure yet if that is just in the mass, or if every cell in her body is missing that link (sorry family, if it is germline then we all may be doing some genetic testing in the future).

Since Holly is the Oncologist, she doesn't read slides or have expertise in genetics, so it takes a lot communication, translation, and asking questions to put all the information together. On the phone she said they want to do a PET scan, an MRI (just in case this is leaning toward melanoma) and meet with us on Tuesday March 10th to explain everything.  I was comforted and grateful to be at Jenn's when I was. I needed a shoulder to cry on real quick and she was there. I looked up from wiping my eyes to see her next to me, Kate and Max playing in the ocean, and water shining on the waves. "Life is good" I thought to myself. Life IS good!  After the phone call with Holly I was able to talk with Jenn's husband, Dave, who works as a geneticist and pediatrician at Stanford. He knows many of the doctors we're working with and was able to help me understand what's going on. Thank you Dave!

As I talked through things with Holly and her fellow yesterday, it helped to write it as we went. 

It looks clear as mud, but I promise it all makes sense to me! She did email me later with all this in a nice and neat outline. The surprise was that the scan was already schedule for today, which we found out yesterday. At least that meant less waiting right?

So today Ruby and I spent the morning at Primary's. Thank you Mark and neighbors for helping with Siri and Jane!

Sadly the first IV didn't work so they had to prick her other foot. A PET Scan is longer than a CT, which I wasn't expecting, but it all went well. We hope to get results back tomorrow. I suppose when you have a child with medical needs, it is a rite of passage when you lose track of how many procedures/scans/surgeries your child has had. I felt like today is the day I lost track or quit counting.

healing well. In addition to the MRI scheduled for Monday morning, we have an appt with a dermatologist in the afternoon who is considering biopsying some of the melanin spots on her neck

looking for the kittens at the neighbors.

I love these three musketeers.

I want to make the kale potato salad. 

I got a few vegetable recipes from Jenn's stake womens conference I want to try. 

Sorry, not sorry, that I talk about food a lot. You're crafty with crafts, I like to be crafty with foods.

real

Hi. Mark's at a meeting, Siri's at school, Jane is at a dear sweet neighbor's, and Ruby is snoozing...that means I got to eat lunch by myself and am going to try to get in a blog post!

Ruby and I just got back from the U where, after many phone calls and clearing up lack of communication, they did an ultrasound of the lymph nodes in her neck. We see so many different doctors at Primarys, the U, and starting next week, Huntsman, that I forgive them for not being clear on why we were there. Thankfully the girls were in good hands while we were gone.

Let's back up.

After the last few dr visits we were told that yes, her wound is healing great! She got her brace off. Boy was she mad at first, she wanted it back on silly girl. Her movement and function has been totally fine though and everyone in our family has felt more relaxed.  With Dr.Perlman in oncology at Primary's we just talked about Ruby and also enrolled in a pediatric genetic cancer study.  No, we have no proof she has cancer, but could she in the future?  Yes.
Dr Grimmer's nurse called me on Monday of this week wanting to see us Tuesday. Uh, that never happens. What would be so urgent? Mark and I were worried. We talked with Dr.Grimmer and Dr.Perlman... genetic testing was done on DNA from the mass that was removed and the structure of the genes did look similar to melanoma. Thus, the order for the ultrasound we did today.  The radiologist didn't say anything at the appointment so I'm assuming she's ok and that they'll call me with a summary of what they saw.  All of these things are precautions. They are also sending Ruby's case to UCSF, St. Judes, and perhaps a few other places. The more eyes on her rare tumor the better!  ...and Dr.Grimmer's office just called, her lymph nodes look normal, nothing to be concerned about. yay!

I'm not sick of the hospital or doctor visits yet, I'm grateful they are keep a close eye on her. All the waiting in the waiting rooms? We're starting to get better at what to expect. I would normally not let Ruby play with things in the ultrasound room, but you bet she stayed entertained pushing all the buttons that control the position of the bed that was in there. I brought lots of snacks and a new app on my phone. She only shed a few tears which were bribed away with an offer of gum. Also, grateful for free valet parking.

Next on the list, Jane got her new glasses! Its hard to tell if she just likes the new accessory or if she's really excited to see that well. Some of both. Her prescription isn't that bad, but I can tell she's needed them. She also started swim lessons and rocked her first one. They are survival type lessons, but she was a little fish...well, a fish that can't swim, but a happy fish.

Siri's imagination just keeps on blooming. I thought it may fade as she got older, but she could spend hours in her room playing make believe. Yesterday she had 5 toy high heels that were different people with names doing I can't remember what, but I love hearing the things she makes up. We've signed her, and Jane up for soccer this spring. Siri is also going to give baseball (coach pitch) a try. Mark is proud!

We are still managing a one car household. Its sometimes a bummer to not be able to do everything we could if we had 2 cars. But generally it's good to not do all those things. More time at home to play with the girls, and for them to go play with the kids in the neighborhood.  Mark and I are improving at communicating what we're doing during the day and when we need the car.  Things have been slow with his photography, as they always are this time of year, but will start picking up soon. His passion for all things marketing is growing and I love that he can pursue that as he wants. His boss won't fire him ;)

I've been doing small group training sessions with Liz and some other women at the gym. Intense! I love it. I just watched "The World According to Monsanto" last night. Its an older documentary, but very eye opening to what Monsanto and the United States government  has done (or not done) to stealthily, and dishonestly, approve genetically modified foods and their past use of terrible chemicals. It scared me. I got it from the library, you could too. I'm sure there is a flip side to show the good things they've done, which I'll try to find out as well.
I went to an amazing conference last Saturday just for women at our Stake center. It was about our 'lists' of things to do, emphasizing the essentials like personal prayer and going to the temple. I'm grateful for the Gospel, the teachings of Jesus Christ and the direction it gives me to follow in my life. It provides amazing balance. I love our neighbors and the people in our ward, so going to church is even more uplifting when you're around people who are trying to live life as you are.  I was telling my sis in law that sometimes its just hard with littles, but you have to keep trying. We were in St.George and I was having a hard time keeping patience with the girls. We ended up leaving sacrament meeting and going to walk around the temple.  The Gospel is thankfully about more than church meetings, Relief Society activities, and primary lessons. There are so many avenues to learn, most importantly our own lives. I value having the Gospel (scriptures, the temple, words of Prophets, personal revelation) as my handbook for life!

My brother Matt survived this terrible accident. 

He was hit on his bike by a motorist that didn't see him.

Gettin' her snack on as we wait for doctors.

I get to go visit these people soon!

Bed Bath and Beyond fortunately, and unfortunately, 

has everything a girl didn't know she needed

Dinner at Jamba

Cookie party!

Horton Hears a Who with neighbors, so fun!

date night!

flowers always cheer me up, thanks sister!

get all the Costco samples

heat wave

Quick post

Its summer spring, no wait, its winter outside. I mean, its February and 70, whatever season that means.

We got our permit for the mini skate ramp, yay! We went to St.George for fun/work.

Ruby has 3 dr appts this week: Oncology, Dr Grimmer-ENT, and Dr.Brockmeyer-Neurosurgeon.

This may look crazy, but its Ruby's wound that is healing so well!

As of today we no longer have to have a nurse help us!

Boxes, they make everything cozier, and squishier

cute cousin Kate cookin' in her California kitchen

Ruby watchin her mamma play soccer!

the girls have had fun with Sam this week!